- Title: FJ-HRN-3174
- Summary: Larry The Cable Guy Roast:
- Description:01:00:30 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast some women run back to backstage, shots of backdrop, a little bit of exterior around lot, American flags 01:02:34 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast Vicki Roberts, Reno Collier, Rebecca Cory 01:06:11 - Sound Bite: Reno Collier Dude its totally ripe. That guy doesnt change his clothes man. Those shirts and hes got maybe 8 of them. Ive seen him wear, I mean the guys made like tons of money, Im like buy some pants man, buy a new shirt, put something on that you know, hes happy like that. 01:07:37 - Sound Bite: Reno Collier Uh Im married but uh like to think about her. Im not in that thing and people for most beautiful, me and Andy Richter always get screwed. 01:07:57 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast wide, Kyle Cease 01:08:17 - Sound Bite: Reno Collier I pull more stuff on him really like um I was telling him, we used to do this show and we were in Alabama and the curtain thats in front of the stage right so hes out there doing a set and when he does a show he paces back and forth, so when hed look back theres only a window of room like this, so I took off all my clothes. I was naked except for my boots, and I had a cracker basket and I was going like you want some of that? And he does everything based on steps so it completely threw his set off, he didnt know what the hell he was talking about and then we did another show in South Carolina and girls were throwing their underwear at him that said Git R Done on them. (talks) And they were like thongs and stuff so I went in the back and I took my underwear off and I went up in the front where all these girls were running up and I ran up and chucked my underwear at them, like this big fat guy underwear is floating down like the feather in Forrest Gump. Its fun, we screw around all the time, its fun. 01:09:03 - Sound Bite: Gary Valentine Well he used to pull down my pants all the time in Florida, the comedy clubs. I think it was because I sent them a couple of bouquets of flowers. (talks) No reason, just buddies. Guys being guys, you know. 01:09:30 - Sound Bite: Gary Valentine No Larry never gets ripe. Thats the beauty of Larry. Hes um he never gets ripe. Ive wrestled with him and um Ive had my, hes got my head underneath the armpit there and I love it, I like being there, its a good spot. 01:10:12 - Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Um I know him very well in the way of like not knowing him at all. Ive never actually met him, but if I had I would have so its something to think about. But its been killing me for a couple years. I had this made yesterday because I want him to know that this is how it would be he didnt even get done looking up how to pronounce get it finished so hes kind of a hypocrite in a way so Im here to show him that, you know. 01:10:41 - Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Well its weird because we almost actually bought, brought a bag of garbage with us to make him feel at home because I know hes going to feel weird. People are in suits, speaking with you know full sentences so were excited to be here and um this is Julie, by the way. Weve had a lot of sex. I had sex with her earlier today. Julie 3 times. So in just in case the second time I had sex with her was just to prove to her that it wasnt a dream because Im very good with a lot of sex. Why dont you tell him about it? Julie I watch him touch himself. Thats not, dont even Julie And I come out of the shower and hes done and Im like Thats not Julie Thats not sex. Okay so I have a lot of sex with her and hold her down and stuff like that, I mean. Julie Hold me down. Holding down. Yeah. 01:11:31 - Sound Bite: Kyle Cease Yeah thats why I came Im gonna be like no Larry, take that hat off but hell try to hit me and thats the usual response and then yeah (talks) Right I feel like I should slowly adapt to him like in other words I need to pull my arm sleeves up the suit. You have to work it your way with him. (Julie says something) I didnt shave today. I thought this would make him feel a little bit at home. So yeah, I plan to poop my pants. So yeah it should be fun. 01:12:01 - Sound Bite: Kyle Cease No yeah check it out. Film me halfway through the set. Youll just notice me getting a little bit taller and sadder. And people around me will start leaving so its something Ive got planned so you know so. 01:12:17 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast India de Beaufort, Kyle Cease, John Melendez, Doug Benson, de Beaufort, Benson 01:14:30 - Sound Bite: India de Beaufort & Marques Ray Ray Um I thought when I first saw him that it was uh it was a character but its really him and I think if I meet him Im gonna try to break him cause Im not really sure if hes trying to dupe me. Beaufort Yeah I think Id be interested to sess him out. Ray Probably fight him too. I might fight him. No. I love him. Beaufort I think you might get your ass kicked. Ray Yeah its probably true. 01:15:01 - Sound Bite: India de Beaufort & Marques Ray Beaufort Our new show is called Krod Mandoon. Ray And the Flaming Sword of Fire. Beaufort And we are part of the band of roving ?, and its all about its kind of set a fantasy realm and its about this gang who have to fight evil and they get paid by the fabulous Matt Lucas and we have Kevin (names off some names) And you play? Ray I play Bruce who is frat boy. (talks) Fantasy frat boy, I think I know how to fight. I know how to show it off a little bit. (talks) No I dont get to touch the flaming sword. Watch your mouth. Watch your mouth. 01:15:40 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast Jeff Foxworthy, Nick DAgosto, Doug Benson 01:18:26 - Sound Bite: John Melendez You mean the sleeveless shirt? Lets hope not, shes got much hotter arms. But uh, okay. 01:18:38 - Sound Bite: John Melendez I do. Hes been on the show so many times and hes a great guy, hes always like a, hes like a a ?, which is a good thing because you know there are so many people that come in and out, and hes always like, whats up? You know so hes a good guy, you know. 01:19:08 - Sound Bite: Doug Benson Did I get super high tonight? Well wouldnt I be shirking my responsibilities as a stoner comic if I showed up at the Larry the Cable Guy Roast completely straight? (talks) I think it would be sad, so uh I uh you did a few things before coming on to the Warner Brothers lot where securitys very intense and lets keep all of this on the DL. 01:19:36 - Sound Bite: Doug Benson Talks about Super High Me 01:20:03 - Sound Bite: Doug Benson I love Larry. Mostly because Ive never worked with him and uh because he uh you know he distracts people that uh I dont want coming to my shows. No Im just kidding. Hes, by all accounts is a super nice guy. Ive never met him but uh you know I wish him well tonight because hes gonna be, stuffs gonna be coming out of more than one hole tomorrow. 01:20:36 - Sound Bite: Doug Benson Oh yeah he does, now that you mention it. (talks) I would hope dressed up for his roast, put on a blazer or something instead of his stinky working shirt that he wears even though he never works. Hes not working for a living, hes telling jokes. Its easy. (talks) Yeah thats what Im saying. I totally skirted all responsibility in life by uh becoming a joke teller. 01:21:03 - Sound Bite: Doug Benson Oh yeah you gotta take a whole hour out of your day to have everyone stare at you and appreciate you, its a crazy business. 01:21:17 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast Lisa Lampanelli, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and Cara Whitney 01:25:25 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Please, not even close. Not if they have to give them the answers no he wouldnt make it out of first grade. 01:25:39 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Yeah. You know the fact that he has children just astonishes me because Ive been on that bus and seen his underwear on the floor, the fact that anyone would give him the opportunity to have children is amazing. 01:26:00 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Um you know you see, the kind of girls you see at the state fair a lot of times uh big white legs, bruises on them you know, vaccination scars, ? on their eye, tube top, that kind of thing, which actually turns him on which is scary. 01:26:23 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy I gave up, you know, this is what I say about Larry: Larry is a lot like going to the state fair. 5 minutes of hanging around him you will feel better about your own family. 01:26:42 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy I love him death uh you know when we started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought about who was it that America hasnt seen that they would like and his success, it just thrills me to death because I always knew it was this funny, Ive known him for 25 years, and it just thrills me to death. Hes such a kind and generous guy, does all the stuff for folks that nobody ever sees which is you know its from the heart so this thrills me. 01:27:14 - Sound Bite: Jeff Foxworthy Trust me. She showed up on my roast, which is my mothers tombstone reads Thanks Lampanelli. Yeah, this should be interesting. 01:27:27 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast Lisa Lampanelli 01:27:51 - Sound Bite: Lisa Lampanelli Let me tell ya, I dont care a crap about none of them if that that were Sapp, because as you know I enjoy the blacks very much. You know my vag has been occupied by more blacks than a Culver City storage unit, so the way it goes is, Im gonna try and track down this Sapp and eh oh eh oh donkey punch, thats all Im saying. 01:28:17 - Sound Bite: Lisa Lampanelli I feel it is because I usually have to close them all because heres the deal, they go, Lisa Lampanelli, you gotta go last So I cant do none of the references, but now I get the first crack at the octomom, crazy chimp from Connecticut, I get Chris Brown joke, so they can all suck it this year. 01:28:56 - Sound Bite: Greg Giraldo You know I dont know Ive never been close enough to him to judge. I would assume it would get ripe, but hes got a lot of money so he can afford very high and hes probably had his scent glands removed. 01:29:14 - Sound Bite: Greg Giraldo Uh well Lisa she doesnt need any help, shes gonna be fine, and you know I try to save all my bullets for the show. Youll see. (talks) Does she? Well shes hosting so shes got a lot of time to spew her venom, so well see. Shes an evil person you know so its bound, something evils bound to come up. She looks particularly dude-like tonight so thats gonna help with the jokes a little bit. 01:29:54 - Sound Bite: Nick DiPaolo Uh I know Larry not that well, I met him a long time ago on the road in Florida and uh I work with him Ive been on the bus with him a couple times before he was Larry the Cable Guy, but we hit it off great, hes a great guy, deserves all success. He was funny before Larry and hes funny now and uh Im happy for him, you know. 01:30:22 - Sound Bite: Nick DiPaolo Yeah shes done pretty well, but you know she can you know. (talks) No shes gonna get it, right up her dooper like she likes it. shes a dirty pig and shes gonna get a real beat down. Ill give her revenge. No thats the Italian in her. Hey shes kicked our ass, shes got quite a career goin so youve got to be happy for Lisa. Shes a monster. Shes a broad from you know, I wanna say Stanton Island but its Connecticut. 01:30:52 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast Larry the Cable Guy, Warren Sapp, Derrick Miller, Larry and Cara Whitney 01:34:16 - Sound Bite: Warren Sapp Naw just a tragic situation right now. Its 2 dudes that I knew so Im trying to get as much information as I can and hopefully get them home. 01:34:33 - Sound Bite: Warren Sapp Oh I must, I must, Im gonna try and give it my best. 01:35:01 - Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy {laughs} Well hes right I got put back in 5th grade so many times I actually drove the rest of the class to school with me so hes correct. No I was on his show and I can tell you how I did on it but I surprised him, lets put it that way. 01:35:22 - Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy Yeah I saw Warren, Im a dwarf next to Warren yeah exactly. (talks) Lisa will rip me up uh the only good thing about that is me and Lisa are really good friends and I put her in 2 out of 3 of my movies so she knows not to rip me too much or she wont get another role. No Lisas great, I hope she rips me a new one I think itll be funny. 01:35:50 - Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy I you know what I have a ton of them, I got I dont know honey, how many of these shirts do I got? Cara Closets full. Closets full. Alright yeah I got closets full and I was telling them whered you get it at, and I was like Wal-Mart. And people always thinkin Im kiddin about that but I wasnt, I bought the shirts it said 2 for 7.99 and I went down there and found 2 I like and I love them and if you go down to Wal-Mart tomorrow, this will be in there cause its the latest fashion to hit the store. I love them, they fit good. You know fat guys like me they have to have shirts that hang good. 01:36:24 - Sound Bite: Larry the Cable Guy Twitches and under britches? Uh I got up this morning and I had some twitches and then uh you wanna finish it? Cara And then he put on his, and then I had sex with my wife and put on my britches. There you go. 01:36:49 - B-Roll Larry the Cable Guy Roast back of Larrys hat, Gary Busey, Jeffrey Ross
- Collection: Historic Films
- Producer:Historic Films
- Transmission Date:01/01/2009
- Rights:On request
- Decade: 2000s
- File Name: FJ-HRN-3174