Forsooth! The Geordie due mounteth a costume drama to procure some topmost telly totty and a ratings winner. But Dec's close ups on the heaving bodice of the gorgeous DAVINA McCALL are thwarted by the imminent arrival of the (eh-hem) girlfriend. Ant saves the day temporarily but matters are complicated by the arrival of NEIL HANNON from The Divine Comedy, and presenter CP GROGAN for the All-in Mud Wrestling.
GEORDIE GORDON takes on SONIA, the Queen of the Scousers, on the forbidding Planet Ponce. There's also MR SWAPS, DAD GAGS, "I'LL HAVE A DOUBLE", ANTS IN THEIR PANTS, and the ever popular TOOL OF THE WEEK.